it is the end
by mia.c.rose
Summary: It is the end of the world as we know it. Where is she? Shes gone, Derek.


"Where is she?"  
Derek turned in frantic circles as the Webber's looked on in pity.  
"She's right here, Derek." Derek looked towards Richard, hope in his eyes, only to see Addison walking towards him. He opened his arms to her reluctantly, but kept looking for Meredith. Adele could see in his eyes, Derek was dying each second that Meredith's safety wasn't insured.  
"That is not the she he is talking about."  
But Adele didn't know the worst of it.  
"Addison had better become his she." Richard looked at Derek, who was still looking around.  
"Meredith I mean, Dr. Grey, is gone."  
"Oh, Richard, don't be so morbid. Really, dear, who knows what the future holds. Meredith and Derek may yet have their chance."  
Dereks eyes locked on Richards. They begged him for answers.  
"No, Adele, Derek and Meredith have no future. Dr. Grey is lying in pieces up in the east wing."  
Slowly, while keeping eye contact with Derek, Richard shook his head.  
Richard had sen many people die. Heart failure, brain bleed, cancer, decapitation. But never had he seen someone lose his life, as Derek did when he realized what Richard was telling him.

Dereks eyes lost focus. He felt his arms, wrapped tentatively around his wife, numb and drop to his sides. He stared forward, barely noticing the shocked look on Adeles face in front of him, and Richards grim conformation beside her.  
"Honey... ?" Addison pulled back from their hug, but kept her hands on his shoulders. Her face still held relief from moments before.  
Dereks gaze didn't waver. He watched the paramedics exit the elevator. They wheeled a body covered in loose sheet, inches from him. Almost he stopped them, to examine the corpse. An arm fell from where it lay under the blue OP sheet. Hairy- a mans- with a brass wedding band on the ring finger.  
Derek allowed himself to breathe, to feel, to take a step back.  
"Derek, whats going on?" Addisons voice was mildly concerned. Derek met her gaze. Didn't she understand, the world was over. There was no point in talking, in thinking, breathing. It was over. Life- everything. A tear slid down Dereks cheek. How could this woman before him, who had wasted the last twelve years of his life, years he could have been with Meredith- at least the last one- stand there looking mildly concerned, and still, mostly, relieved. Everything was lost. There wasn't a point...  
Addison moved her hand to brush the tears from his face.  
"Derek, my god, its okay. Calm down." Addison was alarmed by Dereks behavior. She said 'it was okay'. What did that mean? What did she mean? Did she care that Meredith was gone? Did she know? Would she care, if she knew?  
Derek backed away from Addison, before she could wipe his tears. Those were Merediths tears. Addison couldn't take his last gift to Meredith away, like she had taken his brief euphoria with Meredith away earlier that year. What had he told Meredith, to excuse his throwing her aside... What had he said? 'Shes my wife, Meredith.' He was an idiot. She had been his wife when she had hopped happily under the covers with Mark. It hadn't mattered then, why had it mattered now, when he had had to give up Meredith, and any future they could have shared?  
Well, he was done with that. Meredith might've been gone, but he could still choose her. As Addison took a step towards him, Derek backed up, again, and pushed her back. Not hard, but definitively.  
Addison looked at Derek, inquisitive.  
"Derek?" She didn't understand.  
"Oh, Derek." Adele understood, but was shaking her head. She thought it was too late. It wasn't too late. He had to show Meredith he loved her.  
"Derek, don't." Richard thought he understood. But he and Ellis... She was married, he was married. Richard did things that were wrong. Meredith... she didn't know anything till Addie showed up and ruined everything. She just thought she was falling in love. It had been all his fault. Like usual. No,Richard didn't get to give him advice, not anymore.  
Just then, the elevators opened again. Everything was in slow motion. There was a ding. The doors slid along their tracks, eager to be free of their load. And it was a heavy load. Two nurses, three guys from the bomb squad, and a gurney, holding proof that the woman that Derek had thought that, somehow, would always be his, was gone, dead.  
He turned to look at Addison. He knew it wasn't her fault. He knew that. She had given him divorce papers after all. He knew he shouldn't blame her, so he avoided her gaze. But it was too late. She understood his glare. She watched as Meredith rolled past them. It was sad, for her, that Meredith was dead. But there were other feelings she couldn't help but act on.  
"Oh, Derek, I'm so sorry. I know how much you loved her." Addison said it as bitingly as possible. She felt guilty, a moment later. The damage was done though, and Derek turned his back to her and made the nurses rolling Meredith away stop. He pulled back the sheet covering her face and kissed her, lightly. He bent his head down and wept against her chest, clutching her cold hands in his. He never recovered.


End file.
